50 This or That Questions for Couples (Quick, Fun and Revealing)

1 November 2026

“This or that” is the easiest question game there is: two options, one pick, no essay required. These 50 this or that questions for couples start with silly food and lifestyle choices, move through everyday habits and travel, and finish with a few that nudge towards what you value. Take turns asking, answer your own question too, and add a “why?” only when you’re curious. Either of you can pass on anything.

TL;DR

• Two options, one quick answer. It’s a low-pressure way to learn small things about each other.
• The questions go from light and silly to a little more thoughtful.
• Take turns, and answer your own question as well.
• Either of you can pass, no reason needed.
• Use them in the car, in a queue, over dinner or on the couch.

Food and drink: easy warm-ups

Perfect for the wait at a restaurant or the drive home.

1. Pizza or pasta?
2. Sweet or savoury breakfast?
3. Coffee or tea?
4. Takeaway on the couch or a proper sit-down dinner?
5. Cooking together or one cooks, one cleans up?
6. Chips or chocolate?
7. Brunch out or a slow breakfast at home?
8. Spicy or mild?
9. Ice cream or cake?
10. Barbecue in the backyard or a fancy restaurant?

Home and habits: everyday life

These show how you each like to live day to day, and they often get a laugh.

11. Early bird or night owl?
12. Tidy as you go or one big clean-up?
13. Shower in the morning or at night?
14. Quiet night in or a night out?
15. Warm weather or cool weather?
16. Text or phone call?
17. Plan the weekend ahead or see how it goes?
18. Movie or series?
19. Dog or cat?
20. Window seat or aisle seat?

Adventures and getaways: where to next

Good for daydreaming together, with nothing to book.

21. Beach holiday or mountain cabin?
22. City break or countryside escape?
23. Road trip or flight?
24. Camping or a nice hotel?
25. Travel somewhere new or return to a favourite place?
26. One big trip a year or lots of little weekends away?
27. Sunrise or sunset?
28. Hike or lie by the pool?
29. Plan every detail or wing it?
30. Famous sights or hidden local spots?

Us together: date nights and small rituals

Light, but they say a lot about what feels good to each of you.

31. Dinner and a movie or a walk and an ice cream?
32. A surprise date or one we plan together?
33. Dressing up or staying casual?
34. Dancing in the kitchen or dancing at a party?
35. Handwritten note or a message out of the blue?
36. A long hug or holding hands?
37. Big celebrations or quiet ones?
38. Cooking a new recipe together or finding a new restaurant?
39. Stay in on a rainy day or head out in it?
40. Looking through old photos or making new memories?

A little deeper: what matters to you

Still just two options, but you might want to follow up with “tell me more”. Save these for a relaxed moment.

41. Be known for being kind or for being brave?
42. Know exactly what’s coming or be surprised by life?
43. Have a few close friends or a big circle?
44. Chase a big dream or build a steady, comfortable life?
45. Talk things through straight away or take some time first?
46. Be remembered for what you did or for how you made people feel?
47. Go back and relive one perfect day or skip ahead and see what happens?
48. Lots of time together or a good balance of time apart?
49. Say it out loud or show it through actions?
50. Live somewhere familiar or somewhere completely new?

How to use these questions

Keep it quick. The charm of this or that is speed. Say your pick, laugh, move on. Add a “why?” only if you’re curious.

Take turns and answer your own. It keeps things fair and stops it feeling like an interview.

Make passing normal. “Pass” or “not feeling that one” is always a fine answer, and nobody has to explain. You can come back to a question later, or never.

Notice the differences kindly. Disagreeing about beach vs mountains isn’t a problem. It’s a fun fact to know, and often a good excuse to alternate.

Fit it into spare moments. Ask a few in the car, while the pasta boils or while you wait for a table. You don’t need to set aside an evening.

FAQ

What are good this or that questions for couples?

The best ones are quick to answer and easy to follow up on, like “Beach holiday or mountain cabin?” or “Quiet night in or a night out?”. Mix silly choices with a few that touch on what you value, as in the lists above.

How do you play this or that with your partner?

One person asks, the other picks, then swap. You can answer the same question yourself so you both share. Keep it casual and skip anything either of you doesn’t feel like answering.

Can these lead to deeper conversations?

Often, yes. A simple “city or countryside?” can turn into where you’d like to live one day. Follow the thread if you both want to, and happily leave it if you don’t.

What if my partner doesn’t like question games?

Don’t push. Try slipping one into an ordinary moment, like a walk or a drive, instead of announcing a game. If it’s not their thing, that’s fine.

Prefer to draw your questions together?

If you’d like something to do the choosing for you, Candid is a private connection game for couples. You draw prompts together from one deck on one phone, across four categories: Icebreaker, Deep Truths, Flirty Dares and Intimate. You take turns drawing, either of you can pass anytime, and there’s no scoreboard. There’s also a Desires match, where you each pick privately and only the choices you both made are shown. Nothing leaves your phone. Candid is on iPhone (iOS 18 and later).